


get help

by killmongersgurl



Series: headcanons [7]
Category: Black Panther (2018)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 17:11:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17026758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killmongersgurl/pseuds/killmongersgurl





	get help

  * okay so let’s just start off by saying these two can barely agree on what to eat for breakfast before a meeting
  * erik wants eggs?
  * t’challa wants bacon
  * erik wants hash browns?
  * t’challa has a sudden craving for oatmeal
  * chef tries to bring them to a compromise by making everything?
  * they’re suddenly not hungry anymore.
  * it’s no different when they’re in an actual meeting
  * “let me see if i understand, cousin.”
  * “aite, go head, bruh.”
  * “we both walk into a room together, with one carrying the ‘injured’ one. the carried calls for help.”
  * “so far, so good.”
  * “which is a trick that will catch our enemies off-guard by tugging at their heartstrings.”
  * “yup.”
  * “and while our enemies are distracted, the carrier will toss the carried at the enemies, giving the two tricksters time to… how did you say it… ‘fuck shit all the way up’?”
  * ramonda chokes
  * “and that’s exactly what we gon’ do, nigga.”
  * “yes, i understand the… fucking shit up part.”
  * a dora snorts
  * “i am simply confused with the parts.”
  * “what you mean?”
  * “who will be the carrier and who will be thrown?”
  * erik actually laughs, a sound that bothers a few people
  * “you, nigga, duh.”
  * “yes, i am confused again. why must  _i_  be thrown?”
  * “because  _you’re_  smaller than me.”
  * t’challa chuckles
  * “i can not possibly be the one who is carried and thrown. size means nothing to the black panther.”
  * “…and?”
  * “the black panther cannot be thrown.”
  * “tuh! i threw yo ass off a cliff!”
  * shuri can’t help letting out an eager, “YEET!”
  * the meeting attendees start to murmur
  * t’challa purses his lips and holds a hand up for them to quiet down
  * “i refuse. the black panther cannot be thrown.  _i_  will throw  _you_. that is final.”
  * erik, who has no respect for anyone, including and especially his prissy ass cousin scoffs and stands up
  * “i’ll tell you what’s final, nigga. you bein’ smaller than me. what i look like bein’ thrown by  _you_?”
  * “you would look rather valiant.”
  * “i would look like a prissy nigga, just like you, when i’m a real nigga.  _nigga_.”
  * gasps all around
  * t’challa stands, shaking with pent up anger
  * “n’jadaka! stop this at once! i  _am_  a real nigga!”
  * shuri proceeds to lose her shit
  * ayo starts taking bets
  * okoye side eyes the dora who starts placing bets, but quietly puts in some change for t’challa
  * “i am not prissy,” t’challa continues
  * “then let me throw you.”
  * “the black panther… cannot be thrown!”
  * “i don’t give a fuck who you are! i got a shit ton of phd’s. i’m a fuckin’ doctor. you gon’ throw a doctor?”
  * “if that doctor is not the black panther…  _yes._ ”
  * ramonda stands and gets between them
  * “my dear son, my beautiful nephew—”
  * t’challa is fuming 
  * “why must  _he_  be the beautiful one?! have i become ugly to you, queen mother?!”
  * erik nods
  * “you ugly as shit, my nigga!”
  * ramonda ignores them both
  * “you must both put an end to this childish quarrel. think of wakanda.”
  * erik (gently) moves her out of the way to get closer to t’challa
  * “i don’t give a fuck about wakanda. y’all left me in oakland to rot!”
  * shuri is seriously losing her shit lmao
  * “that was not us! that was—“
  * “ya bitch ass daddy, i know! i ain’t know the nigga, but i know that  _he_ woulda let himself get thrown!”
  * “this is a lie! he was the black panther before me! he would not allow it!”
  * “you better not say it!”
  * “and the black panther cannot be thrown!”
  * they’re getting closer
  * ayo is casting lots
  * okoye is seriously thinking about switching her bet over to erik but she’s too loyal to the fucking throne
  * “say that shit one more time!”
  * “or what?!”
  * “i’ll beat yo prissy ass!”
  * t’challa takes a deep breath
  * erik gives him a warning look
  * shuri’s recording this shit for the nationally syndicated wakandan television gossip talk show, WakandaTv!Live
  * (she may or may not be making a profit off of this)
  * (might be working with ayo)
  * (might not
  * (all speculation)
  * “the black panther.”
  * “you better not.”
  * “canNOT!”
  * “T’CHALLA!”
  * “BE!”
  * “I SWEAR I’LL BEAT YO ASS!”
  * “THROWN!”
  * “ _ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!**_ ”
  * “ ** _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!_** ”
  * shuri, for some reason, conveniently has a boxing bell at her side
  * *bell dings*
  * “recording live from the royal palace, is the long awaited fight between t’challa and erik!”
  * where did that audience come from???!!!!!!!
  * a boxing ring rises up from the ground???
  * shuri’s been waiting for a moment to use it after stumbling onto american boxing videos on youtube three years ago????????
  * ramonda tried to have youtube blocked from wakanda??????!!!!!!!
  * anyway
  * it’s erik vs. t’challa: the third rumble
  * “to be thrown or not to be thrown. that is the question.”




End file.
